So, Moms on Facebook: every time you post any exciting news about your kid — it’s his first birthday, or she just took her first steps — why is it that every other mom on Facebook feels compelled to comment on your post with something about their own blessed spawn? Like, “Oh, I remember when Jordan said his first word, except 400 times more awesome because the word was ‘pulchritudinous.’ Aren’t children GREAT? This time is exciting for you I’m sure, but just wait until they graduate from Harvard Law School and complete their first triathalon!” The worst. And birth: “You were in labor for 22 hours? Lucky! I had to have an emergency C-section in the middle of a hurricane. Enjoy this time. Eventually they’ll grow up to hate you and you’ll be 50 pounds overweight.” There’s reaching out and relating to a friend — and then there’s stomping out someone’s fire by implying that the most extraordinary experiences of her life are totally ordinary moments. You stop it right this instant, Moms. You are terrible for reals.

---via JennaBee